Conviction - James 4:17

This morning during church I had an odd experience, God began clearly speaking to my heart. Of course one might expect that to be where God normally speaks to us, but the subject matter this morning didn't match. Pastor was preaching about Palm Sunday, and I was thinking about losing weight.

My exercise and activity have been increasing. My neighbor and I basically joined a gym. It's not very much money because it is run by the city, but we still have access to an indoor walking track, exercise machines, and a swimming pool. So because of this we have been going every morning to do something. We have been on treadmills and swimming, but most mornings we just walk the track, making sure to do at least a mile and attempting to increase our distance gradually. In addition to going to One620 Workout Group, I am pretty proud of myself for this accomplishment, but...

I haven't been doing very well with my eating. I can generally do OK, at the beginning of the day. Breakfast and lunch are no problem. Then dinner rolls around, and I do things I shouldn't: Fast Food too often, going back for seconds after I have eaten, cooking something that was calorie and fat filled in the first place. Then when Adam leaves for work there is no telling what I might find in the cabinet or refrigerator to munch on. I even bought carrots to help me with the "lonely munchies", but I didn't eat them. This has been going on for a while, and sabotaging my weight loss journey.

This morning I began to feel conviction over this. At the beginning of this journey (around the time I started this blog) I felt like God was calling me to do this. I really felt like I would be more effective in ministry if I was healthier. So this morning God reminded me of that and began to work on my heart over my food choices. Pretty early on I tried to argue with God. "Is it really sin to eat whatever I want and not lose weight?" God's response? "James 4:17 contains what definition of sin?" This is a JBQ question and I knew immediately what the answer was. The JBQ card says "Knowing to do good, but not doing it is sin". My NIV Bible words it this way, "Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins". TALK ABOUT BEING SLAPPED!!!

 I never want to admit that I have "sinned". Sin to me is a very hard word to process and I really don't like it being applied to something that I have done. I use words like mistake, and poor choice. But there was no getting around this. God to me to get healthy, and I wasn't doing it. Another JBQ question taught me that disobedience to God's commands is also sin (1 John 3:4). So, now that I have determined what the problem is, what do I do about it?

First, I make a plan to go to the store and get vegetables, come home and have a salad for lunch. I am firmly set on this plan until I get distracted and discover that one of my friends is going out to lunch and no one else is going with her. Perfect opportunity to spend some time with her. We end up going to Mexican food. Then I think, "I have chicken in the refrigerator, I can do something with that for dinner". And again I fail. I get home, Adam goes to work, and I want something sweet. I end up making waffles for dinner.

This reminds me of another passage in Scripture that I memorized as a quizzer. Romans 7:15-25. I was going to copy and paste it here, but I found that I can sum it up easier. Paul repeats the same thought three times in this short passage. I want to do the right thing, but over and over again I find myself doing the wrong thing. I was led to this passage by the sentiments in verse 24, "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?". I feel Paul's anguish. I completely understand his use of the word "wretched". That is how I feel right now, wretched.

I know that even Satan can twist the Scriptures and mislead us in the wrong direction. In Matthew 4 he uses the Word of God to tempt Jesus. Here he almost had me stuck on verse 24, and feeling wretched. But God prompted me to go back and double check the passage and make sure that I had it right. That's when I noticed verse 25, "Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

I think that needs repeating: "Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

Tomorrow is a new day, and his mercies are new every day. I know that I have some changes to make in my eating. With God's help, this will be accomplished.

P.S. I know this one was a little long. Thanks for hanging in there with me!!