Just Stuff

This post is going to be kind of a list of random things that happened this week.

1. I went to a Work-Out group on Monday night. I am still sore, and it has been almost a week. I am considering whether or not to go back. Keep reading to find out why this is such a hard decision.

2. Adam's birthday: When we came to Claremore we didn't have any money, all we had were food stamps. So for Adam's birthday I bought and wrapped a package of double-stuffed Oreos. The next year was very similar, so I did the same thing. This year we had money and no food stamps, but I figured I had started a tradition, so I bought him a package of Oreos. When I gave them to him, he said "I better not see this on your blog". Sorry, Adam, but it was worth mentioning, especially since they are only tempting if they are mint flavored. It's also worth mentioning that the stuff in the house doesn't get to me nearly as much as the proximity of the fast food restaurants to our house. I am definitely addicted to fast food and I think about it way more than the stuff that Adam keeps for himself.

3. Sunday School Christmas Party: As I was eating whatever it was that I had put on my plate, Adam gave me a new word. He said, "I don't want you blog-plaining about this". Well, no complaints here. All the food was good, if not necessarily good for me, and I didn't worry too much about it, I just ate less than what I usually would have.

4. Holiday Baking: Cupcakes, cookies, bread. All really good. Still have more to do next week, but managed this week to not do too much sampling of the product.

5. Weigh in: I left this item for last, because I figured it would be majorly affected by the previous three items. When I was thinking this morning about stepping on the scale, I expected to see a higher number (even if slightly). I thought that if I anticipated it in regards to the kind of week I had, then I wouldn't get so bummed about it, and I would continue to do the things that were helping me. I got another surprise when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw another pound down. Maybe if I had done better this week it would have been more than a pound, but since I know that "slow and steady wins the race" I am good with just the one.

Reset

This last week was crazy busy. Three parties, three days of work, and just random other stuff going on. I didn't eat right, I didn't take my pills right, and I didn't exercise right. All of which piled in for a very scary weigh in. I have been weighing twice a week. I changed from Sunday mornings to Monday mornings so I would have the most current number for when my Work Out Group meets. I have also been doing a "mid-week check", usually Wednesday or Thursday. This week the mid-week check was slightly higher than I wanted it to be (though not as high as I expected). So Friday and Saturday I paid more attention to what I ate, thinking that Monday morning would be my actual "Reset" day and that I would be back on track this week. I even ate a few of the desserts at a party Friday night, just not as many as I wanted. So imagine my surprise and delight when I stepped on the scale this morning and saw a number that was less than it was last Sunday.

Things are looking up. Thanks to all of you who have helped with encouragement and words of wisdom.

Emotion vs. Eating

I am sure that many of you have heard people say, "I am an emotional eater". I have often put myself in that category. But I am an emotional person, so wanting something to eat is almost like wanting air to breathe. Like right now, I seriously want to go into the freezer and eat more of Adam's Peppermint Ice Cream. I am in a minor state of sadness and frustration. I didn't eat very well yesterday or today. Lunch for both days was leftover Thanksgiving stuff. Tonight dinner was Taco Bell. I had a Taco Salad, and it might not have been too bad if I hadn't eaten the shell. The upcoming weeks contain more Christmas parties that I can possibly count and there will be lots of stuff that previously I would not have given a second thought about eating. All of this compared to my weight loss goal is piling in on me, and I feel overwhelmed.

I find myself asking, "What should I do?" I could go to all the parties and not eat anything there, but I worry that this course of action will just make me want more sweets and at some point I will go insane (not that I am not already crazy). Some might say that I could skip a few of the parties, but alas this is not an option. I can't explain all the reasons, you will just have to trust me. I could bring something healthy and attempt to minimize the damage done by the one cookie I will actually eat (but how to choose one?). I could hang this whole thing on a shelf and say "Forget it, I will start on New Years".

I really want to take the last option. I have already shared with you that it's not my nature to stick things out. Even just the thought of not being able to participate FULLY in the coming month almost makes me want to cry.  A friend came up to me tonight and asked what I was bringing to the Women's Christmas Party. I said I hadn't decided and she said that she looked forward to whatever it was, because I always brought something good. It made me not want to disappoint her. So I really want to come up with something totally yummy and seriously bad for you. And I want to taste all the "bad for you" stuff that other people bring. This scenario would repeat itself five times over the month of December, and I haven't even thought about what we are going to do for Christmas Dinner yet.

Can I increase my workout schedule to allow myself extra intake? I worry that this is not a healthy approach and that it won't even work anyway.

Oh! I forgot that Adam's birthday is in the middle of all this craziness. Although he doesn't really like sweets so this might not be too much of a problem.

I am open to suggestions at this point. If any of my local friends would like to help me out and help me pay attention to what I eat at all these parties, that would be greatly appreciated.

For now, I think I will turn on some music and try to distract myself. Hopefully, I can get happy and stop thinking about the ice cream in the freezer.

Insanity

It has been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. That's how I felt when I stepped on the scale this morning. I did manage to maintain, but I was still hoping for a different number.

If you are following closely you will have noticed that my last post was on Wednesday. That was the last time I actually tracked what I ate. My list of "unallowed" foods in the last three days is a little longer than I want to admit, but I am going to do it anyway:

Mashed Potatoes & Gravy (and a second helping w/ loads of garlic butter)
Sweet Potatoes w/ Marshmallows (and a second helping)
Cornbread Stuffing
Green Stuff (aka Pistachio-Pineapple Fluff) (x2)
Cranberry Jello Salad
Dinner Rolls
Peppermint Ice Cream
Graham Crackers
Tacos

I have been trying to get more exercise in, but most of what I have done has been just doing extra things around the house. Last Sunday my neighbor and I decided that our yard desperately needed care. So just about every day this week we have been out there trimming plants and pulling weeds. Yesterday we hung Christmas Lights. Apparently the stuff that wore me out was not enough to counteract my intake.

I think I have learned my lesson. I don't think I have ever heard anyone say that major change will come in only one facet. When people talk about weight loss, they talk about diet and exercise. So this week the goal is to go gung-ho for both. Today, there will be a banquet at the church. I am pretty sure that the menu will be alright for me if I can just resist the dinner rolls.

Mourning into Dancing

There are very few days like today. As bad as yesterday was, today was good!! And not so much in the sense of what I ate (although I think did pretty well), but just as a whole. This morning when I got up I was so ready to go that I forgot to eat breakfast. My neighbor and I went to Wal-mart and ran a few other errands. Then we went and had salads at Arby's for lunch. That was good except the dressing. When we got home we went for a walk then did some work in the yard. The weather was so nice that we decided to grill for dinner and Adam requested banana pudding. So we went to the store and got the things we needed. Adam and the neighbor's son had steak, while she and I had chicken. We grilled zuccini, and I boiled some brussel sprouts. Then we ate on the patio. Oh, and we ALL had banana pudding for dessert.

Day 5: Frustration

This is Day 5 of the new journey, and it was a doozie. I failed to plan ahead for breakfast and lunch, so I grabbed a frozen chicken breast and some frozen veggies for lunch, and a hard-boiled egg and applesauce for breakfast. When I work (if you can call it that), I eat when my client eats. (Side bar: that is the first time I have used the term client, but I don't know what else to call her and it seems wierd). When I go to her house, I usually get her out of bed, make her breakfast, then eat mine with her. The same is true for lunch. However, this morning there was a bustle of activity to get the house ready for Thanksgiving, which included the carpet cleaner and the plumber. The carpet guy came before she was awake, and the plumber came just as he was leaving. She didn't want to get out of bed with the men in the house so we waited. So that meant that the first thing either one of us had to eat today was at noon.

Additional frustration came when I realized that because we had not eaten breakfast, we didn't take our medications either. And because the carpets were being cleaned the dining room table was in the kitchen and there wasn't really room to sit. So I put her in her recliner and fed her lunch there, then went into the kitchen to get my own.

The chicken was still frozen. I put it in the microwave to thaw/cook. I came out as hard as a rock. Not sure why, but I wasn't firing on all cylinders. So lunch became broccoli and applesauce.

As I was leaving work, I realized that I had also failed to plan ahead for dinner. Since Adam had to go to work tonight it needed to be quick and easy and it has become a routine to drive through fast food on my way home. So that's what I did. Dinner: Sonic Bacon Toaster Burger and onion rings.

Absolute failure of a day. I almost didn't post this, but I figured that was more to the point of this thing. If everyone is going to see my sucesses they should see the failures as well.

I am going to go put in an excercise DVD and plan out what I am doing tomorrow. It had better be good, cause we all know already that Thursday will be out the window.

What Got Me Here

This is the story of my journey so far. I have never really been a self motivator or even someone who sticks to things. The only things I have managed to really stick to in my life are Marriage and Bible Quiz. Even the last blog I started only had two entries in it. All the diets and weight loss tricks have been the same. Have a little success but never really follow through.

So why should this time be any different? I don't really know the answer to that. My hope is that by making this journey very public that it will somehow motivate me to keep going. Many of you have already seen my Facebook posts at the beginning of this attempt. You have been very encouraging and helpful so far. The last couple of months have been frustrating. Beginning with surgery in July and the implementation and multiple changes in medications, nothing has really changed. I thought I was eating right. I thought I was taking steps to affect change in my life, but nothing was happening. This led me to really start thinking about what I was doing (and not doing).

On Thursday, I began researching portion sizes and calorie counts, I bought lots of vegetables and fruit, and I started to make changes to my diet and my routine. Not even knowing if I was on the right track, I sought the advice of a friend who is a physician.

On Sunday, my friend recommended a book, The Paleo Solution. The same friend had previously given me an Amazon gift card which I hadn't spent all of. So I came home from church yesterday afternoon, downloaded the book to my Kindle, and began to read. I skimmed the rest of the book today. There is a lot of information and I couldn't really process it all. More than half of the book is why it works, and it took me a while to find the How To. I don't agree with the guy's theology (he talks a lot about evolution), and there are a few curse words, but the challenge is to try it for a month and see how it works. My physician friend says that it really does work and I trust him, so here goes...

The diet portion is very strict and I am not sure that I can stick to it during the Holiday Season (I counted six parties in three weeks, not to mention Thanksgiving). I have decided to begin the other portions which are sleep and excercise and do as much of the diet as I can, but save the really strick stuff until after Christmas.

So heres the lowdown on today:
Breakfast
     Strawberry Banana Smoothie
          Frozen Strawberries, Milk, Banana

Lunch
     Hamburger Patty w/ cheese, Brussel Sprouts, a hard-boiled egg (which I intended to eat at breakfast).

Dinner
   Chicken Fajitas from Chilis (date night with my honey).

Thanks for listening. I really do crave your input. I think I will need lots of help and encouragement in this process and hopefully as the days and weeks go on I will have very good things to report.